Monday, February 25, 2019

India 1 🇼🇳 (Vipassana)

Seda postitust alustan vĂ€ikese selgitusega, et miks ma ĂŒldse seda kĂ”ike tegin. Nimelt olen ma alati proovinud olla, (vĂ”i vĂ€hemalt teistele jagan targutades seda nĂ”u) et kui midagi on valesti ja inimene pole rahul kas iseenda, töö, elustiili vms, siis peab seda muutma. Hea kĂŒll, alati pole see nii lihtne, aga peaks vĂ€hemalt proovima, sest niisama virisemine paraku asju paremaks ei tee. Otsustasin iseenda sĂ”nadel sabast haarata ja vĂ€hemalt proovida midagi muuta. Nimelt olen juba pĂ€ris pikalt tundunud end kui orav rattas, kogu aeg tundub olevat nii meeletult kiire. Sellega seonduvalt olen tundunud ka suurt motivatsioonipuudust, meeletut vĂ€simust ning ĂŒleĂŒldist rahulolematust. Teadsin kohe seda reisi planeerides, et see tuleb teistsugune kui mu varasemad ning ma pean leidma hetke, et natuke endaga tööd teha ja maha rahuneda. Mu peas oli midagi stiilis 3-5 pĂ€eva vaikust, rahu, joogat, meditatsiooni ja raamatuid ( olgu mainitud, et ma pole ÜLDSE jooga ega meditatsiooni inimene, tahaks vĂ€ga et oleksin, aga kahjuks olen liiga rahutu hing selliste asjade jaoks vist. Seekord aga tundus, et peaks andma kĂ”igele sellele vĂ”imaluse). Mitte ĂŒldse polnud mu peas mĂ”tet end 11ks pĂ€evaks maailmast Ă€ra lĂ”igata ja sellist hard core meditatsiooni teha, aga mida rohkem ma uurisin ja otsisin seda enam tuli vipassana mulle ette ning tuli mĂ”te, et hea kĂŒll, kui juba teha siis korralikult.
Oma vipassanat tegin ma pĂ”hja Indias Rajastani piirkonnas Jodhpuri kĂŒlje all in the middle of nowhere. RÀÀkides tĂ€psemalt, mis vipassana on, siis tegu on vana meditasiooni tehnikaga, mille baasĂ”pe vĂ”tab aega 10 pĂ€eva. Vipassana ise tĂ€hendab nĂ€ha asju nii nagu nad on ja kuulsin selle kohta meeletult head, kuidas peale seda 10 pĂ€eva inimesed tunnevad end nii hĂ€sti ja said asjad selgeks jne ehk tundus vÀÀrt seda proovida. Kuigi KÕIK, mida ma selle laagri kohta lugesin on tĂ€iestiiiiiii minu mugavustsoonist vĂ€lja ja tĂ€iesti vastand minule ja minu elustiilile. Aga vahest peabki oma mugavusest vĂ€lja tulema ja proovima midagi tĂŁiesti uut ja seda see oli.
Laager oli range! Siin pean ma silmas, et lausa vĂ€ga range. Telefonid, lĂ€pakad, kaamerad, raamatud, mĂ€rkmikud, pastakad jms vĂ€lismaailmaga seonduva pidi Ă€ra andma. FĂŒĂŒsilist tegevust teha ei tohtinud, sest fookus pidi olema ainult vaimsel poolel. Ainuke fĂŒĂŒsiline tegevus, mida me tohtisime teha oli jalutamine (olgu öeldud, et minu toast, mis oli ala kĂ”ige tagumine punkt kuni söögitoani, mis oli kĂ”ige ees, oli 208 sammu ehk see oli siis see liikumisala). PĂ€evas oli 3 toidukorda. Toidud oli lihtsad taimetoidud, kuid vĂ€ga maitsvad. Kuigi vĂ€ga, vĂ€ga minimaalsete variatatsioonidega oli tĂ€pselt sama toit 11 pĂ€eva jĂ€rjest. PĂ€evas oli kokku 10 (!!!) tundi meditatsiooni. Ma olen elus 1x varem proovinud ja nĂŒĂŒd ĂŒhtĂ€kki veetsin pmst terve pĂ€eva mediteerides. Ning parim osa- Ă€ratus oli kell 4 öösel!!!( justnimelt öösel, sest 4 ei lĂ€he mitte kuidagi hommiku alla minu silmis). Terved need 10 pĂ€eva pidime jĂ€rgima Noble Silencit ehk me ei tohtinud mitte midagi rÀÀkida, omavahel ei tohtinud suhelda ka kehakeeles ning silmsidet pidi vĂ€ltima. Seda kĂ”ike, et tekiks vĂ”imalikult suur isolatsioonitunne ja kĂ”ik saaksid iseenda mĂ”tetega tegelda. NĂ€iteks ka söömise ajal olid toolid asetatud vaatega seina poole. Mu sĂ”brad pakkusid mu vastupidamisajaks 2 pĂ€eva, aga eksisid. Pidasin vastu kĂ”ik need 10 pĂ€eva, kuigi ĂŒtlen vĂ€ga ausalt, et see oli minu jaoks vĂ€ga raske ning mul kĂ€is pidev vĂ”itlus iseendaga, et seal vastu pidada lĂ”puni. Praegu mul on vĂŁga hea meel, et ma ei andnud alla ja tegin midagi enda jaoks nii vÔÔrast. Aga miks see oli raske? See kella 4ne Ă€rkamine ja vaikus polnud minu jaoks mitte mingid probleemid. Vaikuse osa ma lausa nautisin ja hea meelega oleks veel 10 pĂ€eva tĂ€ielikus vaikuses. Aga mis oli minu jaoks raske oli vabaduse tunde kaotamine. Ma teadsin, et ma olen seal vabatahtlikult ja ideaalis vĂ”in oma kompsud vĂ”tta ja lahkuda, kuigi see tĂ€hendaks allaandmist. Seal olles puudus tĂ€ielik kontroll asjade ĂŒle ning jĂ€rgisin vaid etteantud pĂ€evakava. Teine ja kĂ”ige suurem pĂ”hjus oli mediteerimine. Ma ausalt niiii vĂŁga tahaks, et ma oleks in selles, aga kahjuks vist pole vĂ€ga. Minu jaoks on vĂ€ga raske oma sadat korraga peas tiirlevat mĂ”tet vĂŁlja saada ning hingamisele vĂ”i sensatsioonidele keskenduda. Ning samuti positsiooni hoidmine. 5.st pĂ€eva paluti meil grupisessioonide ajal hoida ainult 1 asendit ilma silmi avamata ja liigutamata. Passi jĂ€rgi peaksin olema nagu 28, aga seal olles tundus nagu oleksin 78. Polnud vist kohta mu kehas, mis ei valutanud. Minu esimene katse liikumatuna olla toimus vist 4.pĂ€eva Ă”htul, kus otsustasin, et peaks end kokku vĂ”tma ja iga 10minuti jĂ€rel asendi vahetamised lĂ”petama. Kuna viimane meditatsioon oli kĂ”ige lĂŒhem ehk ainult 30min, siis see tundus proovimiseks vĂ€ga hea. Kuigi pĂ”lved nutsid valust, siis sain ilusti hakkama. Krapsasin pĂŒsti, et lĂ”puks unne minna( kell oli alles 21, aga und hakkasin juba kl 17st ootama :D ) ning astusin saalist vĂ€lja. Ja siis…ohsssaaa sĂ€de. MĂ”tlesin, et esimene pÔÔsas, millest ma möödusin, et sinna ma vist kukun ja jÀÀn oma ööd veetma. Jalad oli tĂ€iesti surnud ja krambis. Imestan, et ĂŒldse pĂŒsti sain. LĂ”pupoole sain juba ilusti terve tunni asendit hoida ja suutsin 90% ajast ka Ă”igele asjale keskenduda, ehk selle mĂ”ttes olen ma vĂ€ga Ă”nnelik, et areng oli pĂ€ris korralik. Aga nagu mainisin, siis vĂ”itlus iseendaga oli suur. Kuigi pĂ€evakava oli tĂ€pselt sama, siis iga pĂ€ev tundus tĂ€iesti erinev.
1. PÀev oli kÔik uus ja pÔnev. Nautisin, et ei pidanud kellegagi suhtlema ja elu oli lill. Kuigi tundus, et see 1 pÀev kestis nagu nÀdala.
2. PÀev möödus selle eest just kiiresti kuna ajakava oli selge.
3. PĂ€ev oli kĂ”ige raskem. Ja öeldaksegi, et kui selle pĂ€eva ĂŒle elada, siis on suur raskus seljataga. Too pĂ€ev olin ma umbes 50x oma peas valmis lahkuma. Selleks ajaks oli uudsuse efekt kadunud ning ees tundus olevat veel ĂŒĂŒratu pikk aeg. KuupĂ€ev 14.02 ei paistnudki tabloolt kaduvat ja tundus nagu ka see pĂ€ev kestaks nĂ€dala.
4. Oli jÀlle rahulik ja taaskord suutsin endale meelde tuletada, et miks ma seal olen.
5. PÀeval oli mul jÔhker peavalu ehk kogu aeg voodi vahet siblides möödus pÀev kiiresti. Ja mediteerida oli ka kuidagi lihtsam, sest suur valu ei lasknud muudel mÔtetel vist ligi tulla.
6. Pea oli veel paks aga valu kadunud, kuid lisandus tÀiesti punane ja kipitav silm. Hakkasin mÔtlema, et mu keha vist protesteerib selle kÔige vastu.
7. Oli kĂ”ige edukam. Enesetunne oli okei, kuigi nĂ€gin ikka veel korralik punasilm vĂ€lja. Ning suutsin end ilusti kokku vĂ”tta ja KÕIK 3 grupisessiooni+ Ă”htune ka veel olla liikumatult ja keskenduda vipassanale.
8. Oli jĂ€lle tĂ€ielik langus. TĂ€nu sellele, et eelmine pĂ€ev istusin nii stillilt, ei suutnud siis kauem kui 15 min ĂŒhes asendis olla. Kopp oli sellest kohast ees, mĂ”tted hakkasid otsa saama ja suhkruvajadus oli niiii meeletu. Mu suurim unistus oli pakk kĂŒpsiseid.
9. PĂ€ev veetsin oma toas, sest sain toidumĂŒrgituse vms ning ei suutnud ĂŒldse liikuda. Kaks tĂŒdrukut peale minu olid veel samas seisus, kuigi 11kesi sĂ”ime tĂ€pselt sama toitu ehk vĂ€ga veider.
10. Viiiiiiiimane pĂ€ev. See oli kohati maailma tagasitulemise pĂ€evana mĂ”eldud, sest pealelĂ”unat sai vaikus lĂ€bi ja saime ka oma asjad tagasi. TEHTUD! KĂŒpsised hakkasid juba kĂ€eulatusse tulema.

Vaatamata minu allaandvale kehale sai vaim vĂ”itu ning suutsin vipassana lĂ”petada. Ma ei kahetse, et ma sinna lĂ€ksin. Ei saa kĂŒll öelda, et need 10 pĂ€eva oleks pildi nĂŒĂŒd selgeks löönud, aga tĂ”esti oli vaja aeg maha vĂ”tta ja oma mĂ”tted korda saada ning minu elus on just praegu  see aeg, kus midagi sellist teha. Samas kohati mulle tundub, et see oli nagu pea ees vĂ€ga sĂŒgavasse vette hĂŒppamine minu jaoks. Vipassanat soovitaks me neile, kes on kas tulised meditatsiooni austajad vĂ”i oma eluga parasjagu tupikus, niisama seda minna proovima tundub minu jaoks vĂ€ga ekstreemne, aga samas inimesed on erinevad. Pikk jutt tuli. Lisan ka pildimaterjali ja kellel on vipassana kohta kĂŒsimusi, siis kĂŒsige julgelt.


My room

Söögituba/ dining room

Meditation hall

Jalutusrada/ walking path


Our vipassana girls


I’ll start this post by explaining why I decided to do smth like this in a first place. I am (or at least trying to be and that’s the advice I always give to others) a person who thinks that when smth is wrong and a person is unhappy with themself, job, lifestyle etc then it needs to be changed. Or at least one should try to make a change, because just complaining and whining about it never makes it better. This time I decided to follow my own advise. For quite a while now I have felt very unmotivated, constantly tired, moody and in general bit confused. Whenever I planned this trip I knew it will be different from the ones from the past. This time I really wanted to take time off and work with myself. Although in my head I was planning some sort of 3-5 days yoga/meditation/chillax camp to think things through. But the more I looked then the more I came across Vipassana. At first it seemed quite scary and a mouthful for me but the more I thought about it then  I realised that if to do smth like this then do it properly.
Vipassana is an old meditation style and it means to see the things as they really are. I heard so much good about it and how it changed people’s lives and decided to give it a go. In my life this is the time to do smth like this if ever. The base course for vipassana is 10 days long and ohhhhh boy they have rules. Everything vipassana and the camp are, is totally opposite from me and my lifestyle. But I think it’s important to step out of the comfortzone every once in a while. Tho on this case the comfortzone was so far I didn’t even see it anymore. I did my vipassana course in Northern India, Rajasthani state, close to Jodhpur.
To start, we had to give away our phones, laptops, cameras, books, notebooks, pens and whatever reminds us the outside world. We were not allowed to do any physical exercise, because focus had to be in mental work. Only exercise we were allowed was calm walking, but from my room, which was at the far end of the complex to another end of the complex was 208 steps, so wasn’t a big place :D The timetable was very strict. We had 3 meals a day. All simple, yet very delicious Indian vegetarian dishes. Tho with very small changes we had the same meals for 11 days on a row. We spent 10 (!!!) hours a day meditating (I’ve spent 40 minutes so long in my life). And the wake up was 4am at night (yes, NIGHT, not morning in my eyes). And the whole time we had to follow the noble silence, meaning that we were not allowed to talk. And in that matter not allowed to use any gestures and were supposed to avoid eye contact as well. Just to feel as isolated as possible. For example during our meals the chairs were facing the wall, so we had our food staring at the wall.
My friends told me I will last for 2 days being silent and even I myself were not sure if I can do the whole thing. But I did it and I am very proud of myself for not quitting. This really is one of the most out of my comfortzone things that I have ever done. Although I have to admit that it was hard. Very hard. And I had a massive battle with myself most of the time. Waking up at 4am or being silent for 10 days were not hard at all. In fact I really enjoyed the silence part and would to another 10 on a top. What was hard was firstly the lack of freedom. Even one of my tattoos means freedom, so lacking it sort of freaked me out. And the second and most hardest part was the meditation. I constantly have like 100 thoughts in my head, so to push them aside and concentrate on breathingg or sensations seemed impossible to me. Especially 10 hours a day. Secondly staying in one position. On the 5th day they asked us to stay absolutely still in one position without opening our eyes during group sessions and omg that’s where the pain started. According to my passport I should be 28, but I surely felt like 78 most of vipassana. Every inch of my body was in ache. I think it was the 4th night when I decided I can’t change my position in every 10 minutes and should pull myself together. I thought that the last sitting before sleep is the shortest, only 30 minutes, so this is the best to start being still. And I was able to do it, although my knees were crying half the time. When the meditation was over I jumped up, excited to go to bed (it was 9pm, but I normally started to look forward sleeping time already at 5pm). As soon as I walked out and saw the first bush infront of the hall, I thought I will just fall into that bush and spend my night over there, because my legs were so dead and I couldn’t move. At the end of the vipassana I was able to sit still one hour straight as well and actually concentrate on the things I was supposed to do... At least most of the time. So I am actually very happy that the improvement in my meditation skills was quite good.
But as I said the battle with myself was quite hard and although we had the exact schedule for each day then they were all still so different from one another.
1. Days was all very new and interesting. I was happy to be there, tho the day seemed to last for a week.
2. Day on the other hand went by very fast since we were already familiar with the timetable.
3. Day was the hardest. The effect of novelty was gone and it seemed like forever until the end. This was the day when I was really batteling not to back my things and leave.
4. Day was okay again and I managed to remind myself why was I there in the first place.
5. Day went by very fast since I got a heavy headache and spent every free second in bed. Somehow meditating was first time manageble for me. Maybe because the pain was so strong and didn’t let any other thoughts in, but I was able to concentrate on right things.
6. Head was still heavy but not sore anymore, but I managed to wake up with a red and sore eye that day. Really started to think that my body is protesting against this whole thing.
7. Day was the most successful. I felt better and actually managed to sit through all group sittings+evening sitting still and almost all the time concentrate on what I was supposed to.
8. Was another down day. I couldn’t sit still at all and really started to miss freedom outside those walls. Also I had a sugar craving that drove me crazy. My biggesst dream during that time was a package of cookies.
9. Day I spent mostly in bed. Had some sort of foodpoisoning or smth like this. Which is weird because only 2 girls got the same thing but 11 of us ate the exact same food from the exact same pots and pans.
10. Last day. This was meant to be as a day to return to the normal world. After lunch we got our belongings back and were able to talk again. DONE!!! (And the cookies seemed more realistic now as well)

Despite my body giving up on me, my mind still got the victory and I finished the vipassana. Even if I think about it now it seems like a jump to a very deep water then I am still happy and proud of myself for finishing it. I can’t say that all the problems got solved within those 10 days doing vipassana, but at least I got the well needed time off to calmly think about things. Above there is are pictures about the camp and if anyone has questions then feel free to ask.

Sri Lanka đŸ‡±đŸ‡°

Kes oleks arvanud, et tĂ€pselt 2 aastat hiljem leian oma tee jĂ€lle Sri Lankale. Mina mitte, aga nii see on. Seekord alustasin oma pĂ”genemist kĂŒlma talve eest 25. jaanuaril ning veetsin Sri Lankal kaks nĂ€dalat. KĂ”igepealt Eesti talvest taastudes ranniku ÀÀres 10 pĂ€eva ja siis 4 trippisin keskel ning tegin Ă€ra asjad, mis eelmine kord jĂ€id tegemata.
Miks ma ĂŒldse Sri Lankale uuesti sattusin on ExtremeTribe. See on nimelt uus ja pĂ”nev asi, mis toob kokku inimesed, kellel on vĂ”imalus tööd teha kust iganes ning soovivad ka vĂ€ikest vĂŒrtsi ekstreemspordi nĂ€ol oma ellu. Seekordne trip oli suunatud surfamisele ning vĂ”ib öelda, et suht edukalt kuna lauale pĂŒsti said kĂ”ik 😊
Veetsime oma aja mĂ”nusas majas Ahangama nimelises kĂŒlakeses ning ookean oli meie casast vaid mĂ”nekĂŒmne meetri kaugusel. Mulle mitte omaselt oli tegelikult vĂ€ga kihvt alustada pĂ€eva koos pĂ€ikesetĂ”usu ja surfilauaga lainetes vĂ”i rannaliival kerget hommikujooksu tehes.
Soovitan kindlasti ExtremeTribe tegevusel sotsiaalmeedias ja kodukal (www.extremetribe.net) silma peal hoida, sest potensiaalselt on need parimad tööpĂ€evad, mis te ette oskate kujutada😊
Mingi hetk saabus padukat trotsides öelda meie casale, tribele ja ookeanile tsau pakaa ning vÔtta ette reis mÀgisemasse piirkonda. Mu kindel soov oli teha Ellast-Kandysse rongireis, mis erinevate allikate kohaselt peaks olema maailma kÔige ilusaim rongisÔit. Ning pettuma ei pidanud. SÔit kestis vist umbes 6 tundi ning valisin varahommikul, pÀikesetÎusuga lahkuva rongi ning tÔesti-WOW!! SÔit helesinises rongis, kus sai istuda ja niisama kÔlkuda uste vahel, sÔites samal ajal lÀbi mÀgede, orgude, metsade ja teeistanduste. Meeletult ilus! Seda tehes oli mul hea meel, et sattusin tagasi Sri Lankale ja seda kogeda sain.
Veetsin 2 ööd Ella nimelisel armsas linnakeses ning ĂŒhe taanlasega rentisime rollu ja trippisime mööda koski, mĂŁgesid, matkasime Little Adam’s peaki otsa ning kĂŒlastasime 9 Arch silda. Edasi pĂ”rutasime 2ks ööks Kandysse, kust tegime ka Sigirya, mis on siis keset metsasid suur kivi. KĂ”lab lambilt, aga tegelt on see vĂ€ga kihvt kui ĂŒksikult ja suurena ja seal puude vahel ilutseb. Kuna see on Sri Lanka ĂŒks populaarsemaid turistikohti, siis rahvast siblis seal korralikult, aga oligi hea, sest me targa peaga alustasime ronimist keskpĂ€eval ja kuuma oli umbes 35 kraadi. Aga taaskord vĂ€ga kihvt pĂ€ev. Kesk Sri Lanka on minu silmis kuidagi nii erinev ranniku omast. Selline tunne nagu oleks hoopis teise riiki sattunud.
Aga ega ma rohkem ei kribagi, kuna mingi jutt Sri Lanka kohta on juba olemas ka 2017. Aastast. Sri Lankat soovitan kindlasti kĂŒlastada, kellel soovi mĂ”nd uut ja eksoolitilist kohta avastada. Seal on ilusad rannad, mĂŁed, imeline toit, odav sihtkoht ja toredad kohalikud.

7am scooter ride to the beach

Ahangama

Little Adam's peak

Ella to Kandy


Sigiriya

Who would have known that almost exactly 2 years after leaving Sri Lanka I will find my way back here. Not me, but deffinitely an awesome place to return. The main reason for Sri Lanka this time was a thing called ExtremeTribe. It is a community that connects people who can do remotely working and also have a passion for extreme sports. The aim of this trip was surfing and safe to say that first of all Sri Lanka is a great place to learn surfing and secondly it was a great success since everyone got up on the boards. We lived in a cute house, which was loccated about 50meters from the ocean and so unlike me, it was an awesome to wake up with the sunrise and spend the early mornings in the waves with the board or jogging on the beach. There will definitely be other trips as well, so keep an eye out on social media for ExtremeTribe and for more information go to www.extremetribe.net
After spending 10 days down at the coast it was time to back my bags and disvover this part of Sri Lanka that I didn’t last time. I really wanted to to the Ella to Kandy trainjourney, which is supposed to be the prettiest trainride in the world and it definitely is worth the title. I took the really early morning train and riding through the hills, valleys, forests and teaplantations while the sun was still getting high up was just incredible. Also in Sri Lanka the trains are open so half the time we were sitting on the doorstep feet hanging out. Amazing! In Ella we stayed for 2 nights and also did the Little Adam’s peak hike, waterfalls and the famous 9 Arch bridge. After the trainjourney we spent 2 nights in Kandy as well where we did the Sigiriya rock, which is a random big rock in the middle of forest, but very cool. Since Sigiriya is one of the most famous tourist sights in Sri Lanka then there were loads of people and going up was quite slow, but probably it was for the best since we started to climb in the midday so it was like 35 degrees outside.
All and all I would say that Sri Lanka is an amazing place and I would definitely recommend to visit it. If time I would try to to both-the beauuuuutiful coastline with the amazing beaches as well as the mountanious central part since they seem like 2 different countries.